Journey thru John, the Conclusion: On Immersion in the Gospels

Our journey through the gospel of John has come to a conclusion.  Since there is no scripture to immerse myself in, I went back to the Introduction and used it as the material I prayed over this month. 

I still, however, used a similar approach.  I read the Introduction multiple times, allowing it to sink in.  I put myself in the scene to the extent that I tried to recall my frame of mind as I wrote that Introduction and prepared to make this Journey through John.  I also tried to let my own words narrow down as I read and reread.  Just as with the scripture, I tried to be aware of which words were speaking to me and then to focus in on those. (This approach to prayer works with any spiritual reading, not just scripture.)

That introduction took as its jumping off point two foundational statements directly from the OFS experience.  The first came from the binding text that every OFS speaks during Mass on the day of their profession:

I promise to live all the days of my life the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ in the Secular Franciscan Order by observing its rule of life.

This professional statement directly commits the new OFS to obedience to the Rule moving forward, so it’s only natural that the second come directly from the Rule itself.  Because the gospel was our concern, it was article four of the Rule that made the most sense:

The rule and life of the Secular Franciscans is this: to observe the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ by following the example of St. Francis of Assisi who made Christ the inspiration and the center of his life with God and people.

Christ, the gift of the Father’s love, is the way to him, the truth into which the Holy Spirit leads us, and the life which he has come to give abundantly.

Secular Franciscans should devote themselves especially to careful reading of the gospel, going from gospel to life and life to gospel.

The Introduction proposes to investigate the question begged by the first quotation, namely “how do I live all the days of my life the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ?”  Or, if you prefer the second quotation, “how do I go from gospel to life and life to gospel?”

But the intent was not to answer the question by argument or proof, but instead to seek an answer to the question by experiment, trial and error.  Rather than describing a method by which one should live, the reflections on each chapter attempt to actually do what the profession text and chapter four of the Rule require of us. 

They are an attempt at immersion in the gospel to such an extent that the gospel itself, even if in subtle rather than dramatic ways, becomes a vehicle for conversion in the life of the reader. 

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When I hearken back to my state of mind as this journey began, I have to confess to a bit of selfishness in my motivations.  During my own initial formation, and even after my profession, article four of the Rule was always tugging at my consciousness.  The phrase “gospel to life and life to gospel” was what defined the Franciscan charism for me.  I kept waiting for it to be explained more fully or to be acted upon more completely, but nothing ever quite met the depth of the hunger I was feeling.

When Dick McCloskey became ill and asked if I would stand in for him as Formation Director, this personal interest began to exert itself immediately.  A journey through a gospel with reference and links to the foundational documents of the Franciscan charism was, if you will, on my bucket list.  The desire to do this within the context of ongoing formation only intensified as my time as Formation Director unfolded. 

This meant using an actual gospel as formation material, so I proposed this to the council.  I was unaware of any existing materials that I could use to supplement this endeavor, but my prayer experience led me to believe that I could provide the material that was needed to make this work.  I thought that with the help of the Holy Spirit, I could lead a journey through a gospel that would be meaningful and useful to the fraternity.

But I have to confess that while there were times when I thought I was being called to this, there were also times when I thought this was just so much hubris.  To hearken back to Peter in the last chapter, there were times when I feared that my attempt at this would end with me looking extremely foolish. 

I have to thank the council for allowing me to make the attempt.  I do not know whether they thought this would work at the beginning, but they allowed me to try.  There was a time a couple chapters in when I got an email from Sister that said something like “now that’s the way it’s supposed to be done!”  I can’t express to you how much that meant to me.     

I also cannot express to you how much the kindness of the members of the fraternity has meant to me throughout this effort.  I have been told on more occasions than I can count that I was on the right track and that has meant the world to me.

It allowed me to continue forward with confidence that I was, at least in some small way, conforming myself to the Will of God.

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I hope every time someone said something nice to me about one of my reflections, I remembered to deflect the praise to the Holy Spirit.  I do sincerely believe that whatever I have accomplished in this, the accomplishment belongs to the Holy Spirit.  If I have a skill, it is not as a writer or as a developer of keen insights, it is in being open to wherever it was the Holy Spirit wanted to take me.     

It is extremely important to me that this be the emphasis of this Conclusion.  To whatever extent this endeavor has been a success, it is a success because God made it a success, not me.  All the glory and the praise and the thanks belong to Him.

I have, on several occasions, been told that what I did here was something that not everyone can do.  The reason it is so important to me that this be seen not as my accomplishment, but as God’s, is because that opens the door to everyone to do and experience what I have experienced during this journey.

I have been more than happy to share my reflections with you, and if those reflections were helpful in some way, then I am pleased about that as well.  But please understand that the purpose of the journey has not been for me to impart my wisdom to you.

The purpose is for you to learn how to open yourself within the context of your own life to the gospels and the Franciscan charism in such a way that the Holy Spirit also has room to work within you based on your own place, time and needs. 

The gospels have plenty of mystery associated with them, but when I think back over this experience, one thing is crystal clear.  Jesus loves us and wants us to know Him.  He experienced Incarnation, death on the Cross and everything in between so that we would come to know Him in ways that were otherwise impossible.  It makes no sense that my ability to glean insight from the gospels would be unique to me.  The Holy Spirit was sent to each of us, and the Holy Spirit will reveal the nature of Truth to each of us as we require it.

Thus, I will dispute to my dying breathe and beyond that I did something here that others cannot do.  Right now, through my words, the Spirit is calling you to the exact same thing He called me.  There are three more gospels that lie untouched by this experiment.  He wants you to pick up those gospels and read them.  As was noted in these reflections, the gospels are the peace that Jesus left us.  He wants us to know and love Him intimately, and the Spirit is the peace He gives to guide us through those gospels to that intimacy.

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If there is one single piece of advice for me to give based on my experience in writing this series of reflections, it is to be patient.

When I reread the introduction, the word that called to me the loudest was immersion.  

Because we have ongoing formation at our monthly meetings, I had a full month to be immersed in each chapter of John.  You should understand that there were times when it took most of that month for the reflection to emerge.  There were times when halfway through the month I thought I would not have anything to share for the next meeting.  I made sure to start reading for the next month almost immediately after finishing the last reflection.  I learned to do this right away because I found that it did take time for the message to emerge.  It did not jump out at me on the first, or second, or third readings. 

I would read the gospel chapter multiple times over the course of at least a week, if not longer.  It might take ten or twenty or more readings before a section of the story became preeminent.  And then it might take a few more readings before a specific verse or phrase within that section of the story became truly dominant.  And then it would take multiple more readings before the message of that single phrase became clear.  Interspersed with this was the research into the Franciscan sources.  When a phrase caught my attention I would take the verse, and the word or the person or the place and search through the index and read through what the references took me to. 

It was the coalition of all these things that ultimately led to the reflection.

But the key was time and patience.  If I had not had that month, I doubt that I could have had as much success as I did.

So, the best piece of advice I have to give on how to “live all the days of your life the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ” or, if you prefer, how to “go from gospel to life and life to gospel,” is to exercise the patience and dedication that keeps you present to Jesus in the gospels over an extended period of time. 

Decide now that you are in it for the long term.  Make the commitment to immerse yourself each day in the presence of Christ the Truth as revealed in the gospels and do not be afraid to devote time to developing your relationship with Him.  What more important thing is there for you to do?  Let your worldly concern go, including the worldly concern that says you must have answers now and immediately.  Jesus does not experience time the way you do.  And to the extent He does experience time, He will react to you on His terms, just as He did in the last chapter with Peter.

Your responsibility is just to be there with Him, and to trust that He will reveal Himself when the time is right.  This is mostly a matter of persistence.  Pick another chapter from another gospel and stay with it for a week, or a month, or a year, however long it takes.  Don’t worry about results.  Just be with Him by reading it day after day.  When you experience distraction, reread the chapter or the passage or the verse to bring yourself back.  Do not become frustrated, just come back.  Allow the words of the gospel to work in you absent from any expectation at all.  Allow the words of the gospel to convert you in the way you pray from a person in a hurry to a person who loves to dwell in the presence of your Savior, all agendas aside. 

The time will come when you experience His presence.  After you have exhausted that encounter, go to the next chapter and repeat.  As your reps increase, you will discover that your relationship with the Spirit is progressing.  Your ability to be open has increased.  Your connection to Him has intensified.  The distractions never disappear, but you know how to come back to Him without guilt or frustration and thus the barriers associated with those negative emotions are broken down.

You come to believe that He is always there, always available to you, always present with you whenever you make yourself present to Him, even if it is just the quiet experience of sharing the same space together with nothing momentous to mark the time.

Eventually, He will become an old friend, one of those folks where communication does not require words or even thought.  Communication is simply intrinsic to the time you spend together, a given in your relationship.

When you reach that point, then you will know you have achieved conversion, and that an ever-deepening ongoing conversion through this ever-deepening relationship with Jesus is something attainable in your life.

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Please, please, please, above all else, do not allow the conclusion of this journey to be an end, but instead be determined to make it a beginning.  Whatever we have discovered together in this Journey through John, our efforts to know and emulate Jesus through Francis have not culminated, but only taken a small step forward.  Our human frailty remains, and it demands that we dedicate ourselves to the search for ongoing conversion in just the way your profession and your Rule require. 

We must, at all times, be seeking an ever-closer relationship with Jesus our Lord and Savior through immersion in the life and peace that He reveals to us in the gospels.

This is what we promised to do the day of our profession.

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The final plea for your continued striving and conversion I will leave to Lady Poverty.  Here are excerpts from the final words she spoke to Francis and his company in the last chapter of The Sacred Exchange between Saint Francis and Lady Poverty.

She ordered all of them to be seated about her and spoke to them the words of life.  “You are blessed by the Lord God Who made heaven and earth, my sons (and daughters).  You who have received me into your home with such a fullness of charity that it seems to me that today I am with you as in God’s paradise.  I am, then, filled with joy…………I see what I have yearned for; what I have desired I now possess, for I am joined on earth to those who bear the image of Him to Whom I am espoused in heaven.

I ask and greatly beg you as dearly beloved children to persevere in what you have begun by the teaching of the Holy Spirit, not abandoning your perfection as is the custom of others.  After you have avoided all the snares of the dark, however, may you always strive for what is more perfect.  Your profession is very lofty.  It shines with a more brilliant light……….

Let there be no doubt about your possession of the kingdom of heaven.  Let there be no hesitation among you!  For you already possess a promise of a future inheritance and have received the pledge of the Spirit.  Signed with the seal of Christ’s glory, you respond in everything, by His grace, like those of that first school which He established upon coming into the world.  For what they did in His presence, you have thoroughly begun to do in His absence.  Isn’t it what you dare to say: ‘Behold we have left everything and followed you?’

Let the length of the race and the immensity of the labor not deter you for you will have a great reward.  While focusing on the author and goal of all good, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, after he condemned its shame, endured the cross for the sake of the joy that awaited Him, hold onto the unwavering confession of your hope.  Run in love to the race that is set before you.  Run with the patience which is especially necessary for you that, while you are doing God’s will, you may receive what is promised.  For God is able to bring to completion with joy what you have begun with His grace beyond your powers, because He is faithful to His promises………..

Therefore, I beg you, brothers (and sisters), through the mercy of God which has made you so poor, do that for which you have come, that for which you have risen up from the waters of Babylon.  Humbly receive the grace offered you.  Always use it worthily for the praise and glory and honor of Him who died for you, Jesus Christ, Our Lord.  Who lives and reigns, conquers and rules, with the Father and Holy Spirit, God eternally glorious, forever and ever.  Amen.