Do you know what nard is? 

I did not, so I looked it up.  It is a plant that is native to the Himalayan Mountains of Nepal, China, and India.  Its use as a perfume, a medicinal plant, and for religious ceremonies goes back well before the time of Jesus.  It was a valuable import into ancient Egypt (a jar containing spikenard was found in the tomb of King Tut) and it is mentioned multiple times in the Old Testament.  Its exotic origins help to explain why it was so valuable.  It would have found its way to the Middle East from the Himalayas in a trade caravan that would have taken months to make the journey.  The three hundred denarii mentioned at the beginning of this chapter is more than a year’s wages for a typical worker in the time of Jesus. 

If you think of perfume as liquid, that would be different than how the Jews of Jesus’ time would have experienced nard.  In its typical form, spikenard would have traveled as an oily solid in a stone box or jar of some kind.  It was distilled from the root of a plant and mixed with rendered animal fat, which when cooled would create the solid form in which it was sold.  Solid coconut oil would be the proper comparison in our time.  The oil then turns viscous as it is heated.  Rubbing it in your hands would be enough to allow to spread.  For Mary to have poured it, it was likely heated first.  Thus, the aroma of nard fills the entire house.

The smell is not floral in nature.  The words used to describe it are a complex combination of musky, earthy, spicy, and organic. 

Why tell you this?  Does it have anything to do with following the Franciscan charism?  Perhaps not.  Perhaps we might even see Judas Iscariot’s objection as having merit.  Why not sell the oil and give the poor the proceeds, even if that suggestion was a deception on his part?

The reason to give the detail is because it provides a wonderful opportunity to investigate the scene in different fashion.  We have typically been using the eye of our imagination as our vehicle for venturing into these scenes, but here is a chance to try something fresh.  Can you place yourself in the scene in such a way that you experience the fragrance in the house?  What does a complex combination of musk, earth, spice, and organics smell like?  Can you conjure something from your past that will recall the smell of nard, helping you perceive the scene more intensely?

Does smell help you envision Mary using her hair to wipe Jesus’ feet and subsequently resting there as her actions are questioned? 

Can you occupy her place, experiencing the intensity of the aroma as Jesus affirms her and then continues teaching the disciples gathered in the house?

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John Chapter 12, Verses 25-26:

“Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also.  If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”

In the last chapter, we focused on the idea of “living in Jesus.”  Here we can explore a couple of closely related words.  We are invited to pray over the ideas of following Jesus and being His servant.

As I spent time immersed in these gospel verses, I found myself thinking about what it means to make choices in my life.  Over and over, moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day, I am continually making choices.   How often, as I face those choices, even if they are seemingly mundane, do I have the parameters of Jesus at hand as I make up my mind?

Jesus talks here about loving life, losing life, hating life, and keeping life in the context of the opposing ideas of “life in this world” and “eternal life.”  Immediately after that, He talks about following Him and serving Him.  This close association indicates that these concepts are connected.  What are the correlations that inform the choices I make?

I placed the connections in these terms in an effort to better understand them:

If I am to follow Jesus, then I must lose my life to Him.  I must be willing to set aside my perspective, my need, and my very own will to conform myself to His perspective, His need, and His very own Will.  If I could accomplish that, I would then, in fact, know what it means to correctly love eternal life as opposed to worldly life.  In following my Creator, my life moves toward fulfillment, and that movement is critical to learning to properly love the potential for eternal life I have been graced with.

If I am to serve Jesus, then I must hate my worldly life enough that I am willing to sacrifice all the desire and temptation born of this world in order to conform myself completely to His desire and Will.  If I could accomplish that, I would then, in fact, know how to keep and preserve the eternal life that Jesus calls me to.  When I serve my Creator, my life becomes fully mature, and that maturity propels me toward keeping and preserving my most precious possession, my hope for eternal life.

If I am being mindful as I make my choices, these principals and these connections should guide me.  Every decision I make should be grounded not in worries about money, or prestige, or any other worldly factor, but only in the Will of Jesus for my life.

The last chapter emphasized continual movement from death to life (continual resurrection) via continual conversion as the practical method by which the goal of “living in Jesus” is accomplished.

That continual conversion is essentially an unending string of choices.  Will I, with the help and encouragement and grace and strength of Jesus, be transformed in such a way that the choices I make this time are different than the choices I made last time, when I erred and sinned? 

It is entirely up to me.  I can spend hour after hour reading and meditating on the gospels.  I can read the legends and writing of St. Francis and St. Clare from cover to cover.  I can profess to live my life according to the Rule of the Secular Franciscan Order. 

But in the end, it is all about the choices I make.

Will I follow and ultimately serve Him, or will I continue to put my worldly sinful self first?

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Francis knew and embraced this idea of individual responsibility. 

Near the end of his life, he wrote this short note to one if his original followers, Brother Leo:

Brother Leo, health and peace from Brother Francis!

I am speaking, my son, in this way — as a mother would — because I am putting everything we said on the road in this brief message and advice.  If, afterwards, you need to come to me for counsel, I advise you thus:  In whatever way it seems better to you to please the Lord God and to follow His footprint and poverty, do it with the blessing of the Lord God and my obedience.  And if you need and want to come to me for the sake of your soul or for some consolation, Leo, come.

Francis gives Leo leave to “follow” Jesus in “whatever way seems best.”  Despite the propagation of a Rule for his followers, Francis knew that they had to have a measure of freedom as they lived out their calling.  Francis does not see his role as dictating to Leo the proper way to follow or serve.  He leaves Leo free to discern the Will of Jesus for his individual life and then to follow through on that discernment.  Francis recognizes that even though Leo is his follower, Jesus will give Leo individual instructions (rooted in his individual graces) that differ from the instructions that Francis received himself. 

Despite being a brother of Francis, Leo is given the autonomy to follow the One we are all ultimately meant to serve, Jesus.  Francis, in his minority and wisdom, does not seek to usurp the position of Jesus in relation to Leo.  He feels so strongly about the need for Leo to follow his own path that he even promises obedience to the decisions that Leo makes.  Francis’ role is not to command Leo, but to support him in whatever way Leo requires.  Francis will be available to Leo if he needs counsel or guidance or consolation in his discernment, but the decisions are left to Leo.

There is only one caveat.  Leo is instructed to “follow His footprint,” but he is also instructed to follow poverty.  This then is the essence of the Franciscan charism shining through.  We each have an individual calling when it comes to discerning the Will of Jesus in our lives, but that discernment will inexorably fall under the umbrella of the Franciscan concept of Spiritual Poverty.  This requirement is non-negotiable if our discernment is to be successful.

This, however, is not Francis enforcing a rule that Francis came up with.  This is Francis enforcing the verses of the gospel that we are considering.  By telling Leo that his discernment must be done under the auspices of poverty, Francis is echoing the words of Jesus in verse 25. 

Francis telling Leo to use poverty as a guiding principal is the same as Jesus instructing us that we must lose our life to love it, or “hate our worldly life to keep our eternal one.”

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Of course, something so fundamental as the need to follow and serve Jesus will be expressed in the SFO Rule.  Article 10 of Chapter Two, the Way of Life, instructs us thus:

Let them also follow the poor and crucified Christ, witness to him even in difficulties and persecutions.

Take a moment to compare these words to the words from Francis to Leo in the letter.  Note the word follow appears in both places, as well as the reference to poor/poverty.

The rule in this instance is very much an echo of what Francis was telling Leo.  Just as Francis left Leo free to discern his individual calling within the constraint of poverty, our Rule leaves us free to do the same.  We understand and embrace the notion that we have a responsibility to go beyond the Rule, while staying within the Rule, to discern the personal call that Jesus has for each of us.

How is Jesus calling you to serve at this very moment?  What does He Will for your life?  He wants you to live the Rule, but what else, what more?  What are the specifics?  What ministry are you to serve in?  Are you called to work at Our Lady of the Road?  Or perhaps at Bridge of Hope?  Or in some other fashion, perhaps in your parish structure?  Might you be called to a leadership role in the fraternity?  Is there a ministry that Jesus has placed in your heart that you need to bring to the fraternity for action?  What individual task is He calling you to?

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Also look at article 14 of the Rule, which concludes with these words:

Mindful that anyone “who follows Christ, the perfect man, becomes more of a man himself,” let them exercise their responsibilities competently in the Christian spirit of service.

When I discussed serving Jesus above, I used the word maturity.  I think it is safe to say that there is a certain progression that takes place as our relationship with Jesus develops.  We begin as followers, but in the end, following is not enough. 

Put yourself again in this gospel.  Imagine yourself as a spectator in the room.  Breathe deeply the smell of the nard.  You have been following Jesus across the countryside, but you have had no real encounter with Him yet.  So far, he has not really acknowledged your presence with more than a glance to see if you are still there.  Then he looks over at you and speaks to you.  He asks you to do something for Him.  I cannot say what it is that He asks, because His request is based on your individual gifts. 

How do you react?  Perhaps you are a little fearful?  But likely you are also extremely excited?  This request is a step forward in your relationship.  Jesus has asked you to do Him a service, and that deepens your connection to Him.  Do it well, and He will ask again.  If you could serve Him well every time He asks, how deep would your relationship with Him go?

This is how our relationship with Jesus matures.  He calls us again and again until we respond.  Our first decision is to follow Him.  He then ups the ante by revealing His Will for our individual lives to us.  Now we must decide again.  Following has not asked much of us, but service likely requires us to begin sacrificing.  Will we embrace His Will and become His servant? 

Read the quote from article 14 of the Rule again.  Note how it develops.  We follow and we become “more of a man or woman.”  That progression is an act of maturing.  The more mature we become, the more able we are to “exercise our responsibilities competently in a spirit of Christian service.”

We go from followers to servants as our relationship with Him deepens.

Again, it is all about the choices I make.

Will I choose to follow Him?  Will my following mature into serving Him? 

Or will I continue to put my worldly sinful self first?

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The fully mature servant of God is described by Francis in these texts from Admonitions XII and XVII.

A servant of God can be known to have the Spirit of the Lord in this way; if, when the Lord performs some good through him, his flesh does not therefore exalt itself, because it is always opposed to every good.  Instead, he regards himself the more worthless and esteems himself less than all others.

Blessed is that servant who no more exalts himself over the good the Lord does through him than over what He says or does through another.  A person sins who wishes to receive more from his neighbor than what he wishes to give of himself to the Lord God.

Does this describe you?  I know I do not meet this definition.  Even if on the outside I succeed in hiding my pride at having served Jesus well in some task, I still fight on the inside to quell the need to congratulate myself.

It is not that I am not pleased to have achieved that success.  It is that when I look at myself honestly, I know I have so much farther to go.  Despite any successes I might achieve, the truth is I remain a sinner in need of mercy and conversion.  I will always be so.  If I were to exalt myself, then I would be denying that truth, and the success would become self-defeating.

This is also a representation of Francis’ instruction to Leo to “follow poverty.”  As Franciscans, our embrace of poverty on every front means we always place ourselves in a position of humility.  To quote the rule from last month again, we always strive to embrace our human frailty.  Our evolution is never complete.  We are always in that state of continual conversion and resurrection.  If we do not remain humble, then the ability to lose our lives to save them and “to hate our lives to keep them” will be forfeit.  And, as these verses instructs us, that forfeiture will also compromise our ability to live in Jesus, to follow Jesus, and to serve Jesus.     

Again, how will I choose?  Are poverty, minority and humility at the core of my relationship to Jesus? 

Am I properly positioned to be His servant?

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Look back for a moment and consider the second half of the quote from Article 10 above.

…..witness to Him even in difficulties and persecutions.

Take time to acknowledge and accept that these decisions to “live in Christ,” to follow Christ, and to serve Christ are not regularly seen by the world as desirable or acceptable.  The world and the enemy do not like to be rejected in favor of service to Christ.  They will fight back.  Indeed, the desire to exalt ourselves when we succeed is one of the tools used to derail us.

Just as Christ was persecuted for who He was, we can also expect to encounter persecution as we work through the conversion process that leads toward a wholehearted embrace of our need to follow and serve Him.  Jesus warned us it would be so in the Beatitudes.

We can, however, take solace in the fact that Francis experienced much of the same thing, and not just from random citizens of Assisi, but from his own father.

Early in his conversion process, Francis’ father sought to deflect him from the path he had chosen.  Francis had taken some cloth to Foligno, sold it, and was pondering what to do with the proceeds.  He decided to turn the resources completely to the work of God, and he tried to give the money to a poor priest at San Damiano.  The priest did not accept the money, so Francis left it in a windowsill.  He did, however, convince the priest to allow him to stay at the Church.

Chapter 5 of The First Book of the Life of St. Francis by Thomas Celano begins like this:

While the servant of the most high God was staying there, his father went around everywhere like a diligent spy, wanting to know what happened to his son.

Note the title that Thomas of Celano has given Francis at this stage.  He calls him “the servant of the most high God.”  In earlier chapters, Celano refers to Francis as “the man of God” one time.  Other than that, he is simply Francis.  But in this chapter, Francis is referred to as “servant of God” three times.  That same reference will not appear again until Chapter 20.

Francis’ father hears word of his location and “races to the place where the servant of God is staying.”  Francis anticipated that this time would come and prepared a pit as a hiding place for himself so that his father could not find him.  He dwells in the pit for a month, praying that the Lord will free him from his persecutors.  He experiences “indescribable happiness” in this prayer, prompting him to leave the pit and set out for the City.  

The citizens of Assisi experience him as completely changed.  They shout that he is insane and persecute him, throwing mud and rocks at him. 

But since the patient person is better than the proud, God’s servant showed himself deaf to all of them, and neither broken nor changed by any wrong to himself he gives thanks to God for all of them.

For in vain do the wicked persecute those striving for virtue, for the more they are stricken, the more fully will they triumph.  As some say, “Disgrace makes a noble mind stronger.”

Francis’ prayer in the pit did not free him from his persecutors.  The source of his happiness came from learning the Will of Jesus for his life and then living into that Will despite the persecution.  He leaves his hiding place and goes to the City to preach the gospel to the people because that is what Jesus tells him to do.  As a true servant of God, he does not condemn those who are oppressing him.  Instead, he thanks God for them, even praying for them in his own way.  They have done him a service.  Their persecutions have helped him to increase his resolve and to solidify the certainty that he has chosen the right path.  

Francis is showing the maturity of the servant.  No longer just a follower, but now a true servant of God, he is not distracted from the Will of Jesus by the harassment he encounters.  Instead, his desire to serve multiplies unimpeded.  He has chosen to serve Jesus over anything the world has to offer despite the attendant hardship.  He has thus, as Jesus promised in these verses, kept his hope for eternal life inviolate by embracing the invitation to service. 

Shortly after this, his father “pounces on him like a wolf on a lamb,” imprisons him in his home and even beats him to get Francis to return to his former life.  His mother frees him, and his father then meets him before the Bishop to at least retrieve the money from the sale of the cloth.  Francis not only returns the money, but strips himself bare, giving his father back even the clothes off his back, renouncing him forever in favor of his Father in heaven.  “Life in this world” is emphatically left behind.

Is it coincidence that Celano calls Francis servant for the first time in the middle of these events?  Or does Celano deliberately associate the title “servant” with the suffering of this persecution?  I do not know for sure, but it seems to me appropriate either way.  When following matures into serving, then the servant becomes more dangerous to the world and the enemy.  The maturity of the servant as demonstrated by Francis is what we as Franciscans are asked to strive for. 

If we achieve persecution, perhaps this confirms for us that progress has been made.

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As we close, read the verses again.  Jesus is calling us to follow Him as His servants and to be where He will be.

The verses of this chapter happen on the eve of the Passion of Jesus.  As we move next to Chapter 13 of John, we will begin to follow Jesus through his own persecution and ultimately to the Cross.  If our faith is mature, then we will welcome the chance to serve at His side in the time of His hardship, and we will, according to His example, learn to experience and embrace our own crosses along the way. 

His path is our path.  We will be where He will be.  Our place as His servants is at His side, no matter what hardships may come. 

If we can succeed, if we are mature enough to truly be His servants not only during the good times, but also during the difficult ones, what will our reward be for our faithful service?

Would you believe me if I told you “perfect joy?”  If you have time, look back to the discussion of joy from Chapter 3 of John, where you will find this at the end of Francis’ teaching on the subject of joy:

And now, brother, listen to the conclusion. Above all the graces and all the gifts of the Holy Spirit which Christ grants to his friends, is the grace of overcoming oneself, and accepting willingly, out of love for Christ, all suffering, injury, discomfort and contempt; for in all other gifts of God we cannot glory, seeing they proceed not from ourselves but from God, according to the words of the Apostle, `What hast thou that thou hast not received from God? And if thou hast received it, why dost thou glory as if thou hadst not received it?’ But in the cross of tribulation and affliction we may glory, because, as the Apostle says again, `I will not glory save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.’ Amen.”

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At the end of our verses for this reflection, Jesus says this in relation to “anyone who serves Him”:

               My father will honor him (or her).

If the Father honors you, is that not the ultimate experience of joy you can hope for?

That would be “perfect,” wouldn’t it? 

What is the weight of earthly persecution in comparison to the “perfect joy” that Francis defines for us, and Jesus promises us, if we consent to accept the role of “servant of the most high God?”

We know that the events of the gospels took place a long time ago.  For us, they are part of a distant history.  Our scene is very different than the one Jesus occupied.  We have electricity and everything that comes with it.  He had only candles for light when the sun went down.  There was no such thing as television or telephones or social media.  We can know what happens in Rome in an instant.  It would have taken weeks for the news of Rome to reach Jesus, and He would have had only word of mouth to rely on for its authenticity.  No pictures or film.

Because of these discrepancies, we often feel more like spectator than participant as we read the gospels. 

But we also know that the gospels are current.  They speak to us about our lives today despite the differences in the world from then until now. 

Entering the scene is a method for bridging this distance.  By entering the scene, we hope to participate, not just review from the far-off position of historical spectator.  We expect that our participation will reinforce the gospel’s currency and inform us how to discern the Will of God for our lives.

What was it like to be a disciple of Jesus?  Thomas says in this chapter, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”  Can you put yourself in his place?  Can you be a companion of Jesus, struggling to understand the meaning of the events around you, and yet willing to get up and follow Him even though that following might lead to death?

Can you take the place of Martha and Mary, who both said to Jesus, “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  Do you have so much faith in the person of Jesus that you believe anything is possible to Him, including the curing of the seemingly incurable?

Eternal life is central to our creed as Catholics.  Even so, can you take the place of Lazarus?  Can you imagine what it would be like to wake from the dead, find yourself in a tomb wrapped in burial clothes, and then to be led out only to hear Jesus say, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go?”

We have nothing in the gospels about how Lazarus reacted.  We see his sister Mary fall at the feet of Jesus, but what about Lazarus?  Did he fall at the feet of Jesus as well?  Perhaps he was too dumbfounded to do anything but be led away?

How would you react if Jesus called you out of that tomb?

Do you understand that this is not a hypothetical question?  Someday, hopefully, it will be current for you as you are called to eternal life!  Can you imagine yourself in that scene? 

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John Chapter 11, Verses 25-26:

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”

When I first read verse 26, I read it like this:

               “Whoever lives” and “whoever believes in me” will never die.

Then, after I read it a few times, I began to read it like this:

               “Whoever lives in me” and “whoever believes in me” will never die.

It may be a subtle difference, but in the end, it was the difference that gave me my reflection for this chapter. 

What does it mean to “live in Jesus?” 

How does the action of “living in Jesus” relate to the word resurrection?

What does “living even though he dies” mean?  That phrasing does not seem to reference resurrection, but instead “never dying” at all, which is how the wording occurs in the restatement of the idea at the end of the sentence.  Is “never dying” the same thing as resurrection, or something else, related to resurrection and yet distinct?  If it is distinct, how can someone live and die at the same time?

The relationship between resurrection and life seems to be clear.  We know that Jesus died on the Cross, was placed in the tomb, and then rose from that tomb.  This is the Resurrection, capital “R.”  In this chapter of John, we are also given the story of Lazarus, who died and is called from his tomb by Jesus.  These are two instances of resurrection where the defining characteristic seems to be the passage of time.  Resurrection is not instantaneous, which seems contrary to the inferences of “living even though he dies” or “never dying” at all.

When Jesus calls Himself “the resurrection and the life,” is He just declaring himself capable of raising Lazarus as a prefiguration of his own Resurrection to come later?  Is He referring only to these two incidents?    Or is there an expanded meaning to the word resurrection implied here, a meaning related to “never dying” at all?

In the last chapter, we found a deeper meaning to the idea of laying down one’s life.  It started with the historical incident of the Crucifixion, but it expanded to encompass Jesus laying down His Divinity and our call to emulate this action by Jesus with the assistance and inspiration of Francis. 

Is something similar going on with the historical incident of Jesus’ Resurrection?  Is it also something we need to delve into more thoroughly before we can understand the full implications of this gospel teaching?

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In the culture that we live in, death is an entirely negative concept.  It is something to be avoided at all costs.  Few of us can think of death not as an ending, but instead as a transition.  We are too distracted from our spiritual lives to be comfortable and sure about the meaning of death. 

Thus, death becomes something that is mostly defined by fear. 

But as Franciscans, we are called to a different point of view.  Our father Francis, at the end of his life, made it clear that he was not afraid of death at all.  Francis was so comfortable with his coming bodily death that he embraced it as an opportunity for one last chance to teach.  He wrote the final verse of his most famous work, The Canticle of the Creatures, while he was literally on his death bed. 

Praised be You, my Lord, through our Sister Bodily Death, from whom no one living can escape.  Woe to those who die in mortal sin.  Blessed are those whom death will find in Your most holy will, for the second death shall do them no harm.

Note that Francis is “praising God through death.”  No one can escape death, but, nonetheless, it is an occasion not for fear or anger, but for praise.  The love that Francis carried through his life for God is not diminished at the end.  The faith that was built during his life carries him joyfully to the close, making this expression of praise not only possible, but appropriate.

Given the way he lived his life, no other approach to death by Francis would make sense. 

Also note the words “in your most holy will.”  It should be safe to assume that one of the reasons that Francis is able to praise God through death is he knows himself to have resided in God’s Will throughout his life.  As a result, he feels not afraid, but confident and even blessed.  He does not fear his death as an end or a potential condemnation, but instead sees it as an opportunity to move closer to God.  He may not know precisely what the next life will entail, but he is looking forward to the transition to that next life because he knows, whatever he finds, that he will be safe from harm because he pursued God’s Will so diligently during his stay on earth.

If Francis had instead written “blessed are those whom death will find living in You,” would the meaning be any different? 

Francis is confident about being blessed in death because he knows he has fulfilled the words of Jesus found in the above verses of John.  He has “lived in Jesus” because he has devoted himself to the gospel life and thus to following God’s most holy will.  Francis reasonably expects to “live even though he dies” and/or to “never die” just as this gospel passage promises.

Living in God, living in Jesus, can be understood to be the same thing as living according to God’s Will.  We still need to understand how to do that, but because we know that Francis accomplished this goal, we can be confident that he can show us the way.

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It is not something I would ever have expected to do, but I am also going to give you the footnote related to the above passage from Francis of Assisi: Early Documents.

Fulgentius of Rome comments on these verses in his treatise on forgiveness.  “Here on earth they are changed by the first resurrection, in which they are enlightened and converted, thus passing from death to life, sinfulness to holiness, unbelief to faith, and evil actions to holy life.  For this reason the second death has no power over them….As the first resurrection consists of the conversion of the heart, so the second death consists of unending torment.

I have chosen to do this because the footnote contains the word resurrection twice.  The verses from the Canticle themselves do not seem to reference resurrection at all, yet the footnote centers on it.

However, the context of the word resurrection is atypical.  It is not focused on the historical act of Jesus rising from the tomb as we might expect.  Instead, the context centers on conversion during the time we are living on this earth. 

“They are changed by the first resurrection.”

“The first resurrection consists of the conversion of the heart.”

This suggests to us that we should begin looking for the deeper meaning of the gospel passage. 

The implication is that the first Resurrection, the Resurrection of Jesus, is not a piece of distant history to be observed from the outside.  Instead, it is something internal to us, something that will work within us to “enlighten and convert” us on a day to day basis if we let it.  It is, to use the word from the introduction to this chapter, current in our lives.

Jesus’ Resurrection, when it is made present in our prayer lives, is a catalyst for conversion.  If you think about it, that makes perfect sense.  How could we contemplate the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus and not be changed if we take it seriously? 

The footnote describes this conversion centered resurrection as “passing from death to life.”  This then hearkens to the ideas of “living even though he dies” and/or to “never dying” from the gospel verses.  The further inference is that “passing from death to life” (resurrection) is not a one-time occurrence that happens at the end of our bodily lives but is instead something meant to happen on an ongoing basis. 

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As Franciscans, the word “ongoing” should set off bells and whistles in our heads.  It should remind us immediately of our profession and our commitment to ongoing conversion as part of that profession.

The SFO Rule, in article seven, says this regarding conversion:

…..let them conform their thoughts and deeds to those of Christ by means of that radical interior change which the gospel itself calls “conversion.”  Human frailty makes it necessary that this conversion be carried out daily. 

The gospel instructs us to “live in Jesus.”  Francis instructs us to place ourselves “in God’s most holy will.”  The rule, in relation to conversion, tells us to “conform our thoughts and deeds to those of Christ.”  All statements of the same concept.

I would just ask you to consider whether it is possible to “conform your thoughts and deeds to those of Christ” if you are not consistently immersed in the gospels?

The answer is, of course, no.  This means that the act of “living in Jesus,” the act we are called to in this chapter of John, is at the core of the Franciscan charism.  Our rule, in article 4, calls us to go from gospel to life and life to gospel so that Jesus becomes the center of our life.   This act of immersion, which leads to conformance and conversion, is what “living in Jesus” is all about and it must be “carried out daily” because of our “frail human nature.”

The daily nature of our need for immersion then fits snugly with the discussion of resurrection and conversion suggested by the footnote.  Resurrection is not a single event that happens once at the end of our life if we manage to be good girls and boys.  Our sinfulness always leaves us in some lesser or greater state of death.  Therefore, we are always in need of resurrection, in need of moving from death to life.  The Resurrection of Jesus is a beacon that inspires us to fulfill our ongoing need for continual conversion and resurrection, for a continual movement away from death toward life, away from sin towards the Will of God.

Our Franciscan efforts at continual conversion then translate into a state of ongoing resurrection.  When we work at this through gospel immersion, we are fulfilling the instruction from this chapter of John to “live in Jesus.”

It is how we can be alive and dead at the same time.  It is how we can ultimately never die at all.      

If we acknowledge our frailty as the rule suggests and embrace continual daily conversion, a cycle develops.  Our frailty causes us, at times, to swing back toward death.  But immersion and conversion take us toward an ongoing resurrection that moves us back toward life again.  There is then resurrection on both ends of this definition of conversion.  Resurrection both leads to conversion and is the result of conversion.  There is a circle at work, conversion and resurrection building on one another.

We may take two steps forward and one step back, but so long as we are always committed to immersion in the gospels, we should be able to stay on a course of conversion and ongoing resurrection that ultimately leads us to the position where, by the end, we can be confident that we have followed in Francis’ footsteps and can praise God as he did as we meet Sister Bodily Death when our individual time comes.

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The SFO Rule, in article 19, at the very end of Chapter Two, The Way of Life, speaks directly to this possibility.  It says this:

Since they are immersed in the resurrection of Christ, which gives true meaning to Sister Death, let them serenely trend toward the ultimate encounter with the Father.

I did not place the word immersed in the Rule in this location.  Nor the word resurrection.  I would like to be able to take credit for these words coming together, linking the verses of the Gospel, the Canticle of the Creatures, the footnote and the sections of the rule to each other, but I can’t.  Still, there they are, neatly summarizing the entire reflection.

When we immerse ourselves in the gospels, we are immersing ourselves in resurrection not just as we read this Chapter of John or the Passion accounts but in every chapter of every gospel.  The entirety of the gospels is an instruction on how to “live in Jesus,” and therefore on how to experience the ongoing conversion and continual resurrection that leads to living while dying and ultimately never dying at all.   

This is what Jesus means when He says that He is the Resurrection and the Life.  He is not the Resurrection only on the day of Resurrection.  His every movement, His every teaching, His entire being is a guide to an ongoing resurrection that leads to continuous conversion away from sin, from death to the continuous Life found when we choose to reside in Him, to follow His Will, and to conform ourselves to Him via the gospels.

Just as in the last chapter, where the meaning behind laying down one’s life was expanded, the same thing happens here with the idea of resurrection.  Resurrection is not a single event in history, but instead part of the ongoing process that leads us from death to life at all points in our existence. 

For conversion to be possible, we must immerse ourselves in Jesus via the gospels.  To the extent that we do so, the door to a life based on ongoing resurrection is opened to us.  We “live even though we die” in so much as we practice the cycle of resurrection and conversion rooted in the decision to “live in Jesus.”   

That then gives true meaning to Sister Death as the rule suggests, not as an end, but as a loving companion during a lifetime of transition.  It is what allowed Francis to praise God as Sister Death approached and what should allow us to do the same.  It is what allows us to understand that ongoing conversion gives us the full confidence we need to “serenely trend toward the ultimate encounter with the Father” not just at the end of our lives, but throughout them.

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Sometimes words are just inadequate.  I have read and reread my reflection many times now and I know that the words I used to describe what I experienced by immersing myself in this gospel chapter are insufficient.

I used the word “death” to describe my state of sinfulness because no other word seems to suffice.  The word resurrection describes an event in history, but I have attempted to extend its meaning here to describe something else, no doubt poorly.

I hope this does not lead to confusion.  Death and resurrection seem to be straightforward words, but they turn out to be anything but.  Somehow, because of the brilliance of Jesus, they have extended meanings which other words in our language struggle to encompass.

In Volume Three of Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, there are two versions of a work called A Mirror of Perfection.  The work is based on material from the time of Francis that was discovered in hermitages and residences of the Order in the early 1300s. 

Because my words feel so inadequate, I am going to rely on the very end of the second version of this work to summarize this reflection for me.  Hopefully, it begins to describe what you and I will experience when our bodily life comes to its end, assuming we manage to “live in Jesus” as we are called to do.

Feel free to reread and answer the questions in the section with the focus verses, but please also pray over the passage below.  This is how Sister Death carried Francis to Jesus just after he composed the last verse of the Canticle of the Creatures.  We should long to experience the same. 

After saying these things, he was carried to Saint Mary’s where, having completed the fortieth year of his life, the twentieth year of perfect penance, in the year of the Lord one thousand, two hundred and twenty-six, on the fourth day before the Nones of October, he passed to the Lord Jesus Christ Whom he loved with his whole heart, with his whole mind, with his whole soul, and with all his strength, with a most burning desire, and with the fullness of affection, following Him most perfectly, hastening swiftly after Him, and, at last, attaining Him most gloriously, Who lives and reigns with the Father and Holy Spirit forever and ever.  Amen.

When Jesus uses parables to teach, He is inviting his listeners, then and now, to enter a scene.  The opportunity such a gospel passage presents becomes double layered.  You have the ability to first enter and watch Jesus teach, and then you have the ability to enter the parable as well, to also be present in that setting. 

In this chapter, the initial scene includes a divided group of Jews, some of whom think Jesus is possessed by demons, others who argue the opposite.  Enter that scene and imagine the discussion between the Jews and use it to review the teaching of Jesus.

Can you empathize with why some would think him demon possessed, even if you don’t want to?  Is there something to be learned by being able to put yourself in those shoes, even if ultimately you disagree?  Can you also empathize with those who find wisdom in the teaching of Jesus?  Try and see both sides in order to experience the scene more fully.

After doing that, challenge yourself to enter deeper, to the second level, in order to experience the parable fully as well.

Do you know what a sheepfold from the time of Jesus looked like?  Check the picture at the top of the post. Note the typical layout of a sheepfold. The walls are built of stone and have a single opening.  Generally, the opening has neither a gate nor a door built in it.  It’s just an open passage.

Look closer.  Note the shepherd lying in the doorway, perhaps asleep.  In the time of Jesus, the pen openings were designed to be just large enough for a shepherd to lie across.  He would sleep in that space and would become the actual door.  The sheep would not be able to leave the pen without crossing over him and waking him up.  Nor would a predator be able to enter without him being aware.

Go back to the gospel and reread verse 9.  Jesus says “I am the gate, whoever enters through me will be saved.  He will come in and go out, and find pasture.”

Take the image and pray over the parable and that verse in particular.  Do they lend added meaning to what Jesus is teaching?  Do you see how he could be “the gate” in a deeper way than you might have otherwise imagined?

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John Chapter 10, Verses 14-15:

“I am the good shepherd.  I know my sheep and my sheep know me – just as the Father knows me and I know the Father – and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

In verses 11 through 18, Jesus says some version of the words “lay down my life” five times.  Five times in seven verses.  Do you think that might be important?

Do you think you already know what it means?  Does it have only one meaning, one layer?  Take time to ponder those questions for a moment while also thinking about the life of Francis. How might Francis have construed this phrase? 

The obvious interpretation centers on the Cross. 

At the beginning of the chapter, we clearly identify with being Jesus’ sheep.  We listen to His voice.  He calls us by name.  We follow Him out.  He gives us life in full.

We accept unflinchingly the assertion that He is the Good Shepherd.  When He shifts to speaking about laying down His life for the sheep, we understand that He is talking about laying down His life for us.  We understand implicitly that the sacrifice Jesus made by accepting and embracing the Cross “of His own accord” is a fulfillment of this section of the gospels.  The Good Shepherd lays down his life so that we might be saved.  The Good Shepherd calls every flock and invites them all to follow His voice.  No one is excluded from the salvific act of laying down His life.  All are eligible to be saved if they are willing to follow Him in and out of the gate that is also Him.

When, later in the chapter, Jesus says “the reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life – only to take it up again,” we can fit that into the narrative of the Cross as well.  Taking His life back up is a clear reference to the Resurrection.  He takes His life back up and takes His seat at the right hand of the Father, and from there He continues to intercede for us in the hope that all of His sheep will be saved.

We know that one of the defining characteristics of Francis is his devotion to following the example of Jesus.  He sets out not only to follow the instructions of Jesus in the gospels, but to live his life on a day to day basis in the same earthly manner that Jesus did.  The desire to not just follow teaching, but to emulate lifestyle, is defining for Francis, and also for us as people who profess to live according to his charism.

The obvious question is this:

Did Francis “lay down his life” in some fashion in imitation of Christ? 

He didn’t suffer the Cross as Jesus did.  He did experience the stigmata.  Was that an act of laying down his life? 

Or did Francis accomplish this in some other fashion?  Did he, perhaps, make a fundamental choice that allowed him to live out this example of Jesus on a continual basis for his entire public life?

Think again.  Is there another way, an expanded way, to define “laying down one’s life” that Jesus accomplished and that Francis was able to emulate? 

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 At the end of the first volume of Francis of Assisi: Early Documents, there is a work entitled The Sacred Exchange between Saint Francis and Lady Poverty.  The author is unknown and the date of its composition is debated by scholars. 

The work is an allegory based on an imagined encounter between St. Francis and Lady Poverty.  At the end of the prologue, the beginning of the journey of Francis in search of this encounter is described like this:

At the beginning of his conversion, therefore, blessed Francis, as the Savior’s true imitator and disciple, gave himself with all eagerness, all longing, all determination to searching for, finding, and embracing holy poverty.

I just asserted that one of the defining characteristics of Francis was his devotion to following the example of Jesus.  Here that assertion is confirmed as Francis is defined as the “true imitator and disciple” of Christ.

Take a moment to look into your own heart.  Have you accepted and begun to enact this principle in your own Franciscan journey?  Decide for yourself whether or not this part of your Franciscan vocation needs to broadened. Is this an area of your profession that could benefit from some conversion?

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Francis begins his search by asking anyone he encounters if they know where he can find “her whom his soul loved.”  The problem was, no one understood what he was talking about.  “That saying was hidden from them.”  No one wanted to talk about Poverty because “they hated it with a vengeance.”

Francis decides to go and ask the wisest men he can find about Poverty.  Unfortunately, he gets an even more harsh response from them.  They also would not talk with him about Poverty, instead preferring to “enjoy delights and to abound in riches for the duration of their lives.”

Francis prayed to God that he be preserved from their counsels.  He left the city and in a nearby field encountered “two old men wasted away from great sorrow.”  When he spoke to them and asked where Lady Poverty could be found, they told him “she has now gone up to a great and high mountain where God has placed her.”  Hearing this, Francis “chose some faithful companions for himself with whom he hurried to the mountain.”

Although most who tried to ascend the mountain had failed, Francis and his group succeed with an ease that astonishes Lady Poverty, who watches their assent from the top of the mountain.  They gain the encounter they are looking for and begin to speak with Lady Poverty. 

She asks them the reason for their coming.  Francis replies by saying “we wish to become servants of the Lord of hosts.”

And then he describes Jesus in these terms:

For He, the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Creator of heaven and earth, desired your splendor and beauty.  Even though the king was reclining at table, rich and glorious in his kingdom, he left his house and gave up his inheritance: for there were glory and riches in his house.  And so, coming from his royal throne, he sought you with the greatest courtesy.

How great must be your dignity, then, and how beyond compare your stature! He left behind all the ranks of angels and the immense powers – of which there is a great abundance in heaven – when he came to look for you in the lowest regions of the earth — ……………….

I asked you to consider whether or not there was another potential interpretation of the phrase “laying down one’s life.”  Francis could not directly imitate Jesus on the Cross, but he still needed a way to imitate this part of Christ’s sojourn on earth.

Read again the words “he left his house and gave up his inheritance” and “he left behind all the ranks of angels and the immense powers.”  They describe Jesus’ decision to come to earth, not as God, but as a man, into a situation of Poverty, not wealth. 

But they also describe Francis.  Francis left behind his own inheritance and worldly power when he walked away from his father and embraced his own life’s version of Poverty.

Before Jesus ever laid down His life on the Cross for His sheep, He had to lay down His divinity in order to come among us in the first place.  That initial laying down by Jesus is what makes the ultimate laying down of His life on the Cross possible.  When He sets aside His divinity, He holds nothing back.  He rejects all of His divine power and embraces Poverty in its place.  Jesus comes into the world not as an earthly king, but as a carpenter’s son born of a poor virgin in a stable.  As we have seen in previous chapters, He rejects all “worldly” riches and glory.  Instead, he takes Lady Poverty as His companion for the full duration of His stay on earth.

Francis did not have divinity to lay down, but he did have earthly riches and glory to lay down.  By rejecting the life his father offered him, he “laid down his life,” choosing, just as Jesus did, a life with Lady Poverty as his spouse in determined imitation of his Lord.    

In the allegory, before Francis is done praising Poverty, he reinforces this theme again:

For before he came to earth from his radiant homeland, you prepared an appropriate place for him, a throne upon which he would sit and a dwelling place in which he would rest, that is, a very poor virgin from whom his birth would shine upon the world.  At his birth you certainly greeted him with faithfulness so that in you, not in luxuries, he would find a place that would please him.  He was placed in a manger, the Evangelist said, because there was no room for him in the inn.  Thus, always inseparable from him, you accompanied him so that throughout his life, when he was seen upon the earth and conversed with human beings, while the foxes have dens and the birds of the air nests, he nevertheless had nowhere to lay his head.  Then, when he opened his own mouth to teach — he who once had opened the mouths of prophets –among the many things he uttered, he first of all praised you, he first of all exalted you: 

Blessed are the poor in spirit because theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Jesus leaves behind His “radiant homeland” and His ability to “open the mouths of prophets” in order to dwell within “a very poor virgin,” who “places him in a manger.”  In His public life, he “had nowhere to lay his head” and His very first act is to proclaim “blessings on the poor in spirit. “

God lays down all His heavenly power in order to dwell amongst men in a state of complete Poverty.  This is the example He gives us.

In the best imitation he can achieve, Francis lays down his life, which consists of all his desire for all “worldly” wealth and power, in order to also dwell amongst men in a state of complete Poverty. 

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It is tempting to think that we should embrace Poverty so that we won’t be distracted by the things of the world and thus lose focus on what really matters, our relationship with God.

Or perhaps we think we should embrace Poverty so that we can use our resources to lift up those who, for whatever reason, can’t lift up themselves and need our help.

These are valid reasons, but they aren’t the only reasons, and maybe not even the primary reason.

Paragraph 10 of the SFO Rule says this:

               Let them also follow the poor and crucified Christ ………

As we read the Gospels, we want to pay attention to the teachings of Jesus.  We need to learn the lessons and apply them to our everyday lives.

But, as Franciscans, we also need to acknowledge the need Francis felt to imitate Christ in the way He actually lived His earthly life.  Francis chose a life of Poverty not so much because he wanted to avoid distraction or to help others, but because he looked at the Gospels and found in them the unavoidable conclusion that Jesus lived an earthly life devoted to Poverty.  Jesus told us “blessed are the poor in spirit,” but then He backed up those words completely by the way He chose to live while He abided here amongst us.  He Himself was truly “poor in spirit” just like He calls us to be.

When Jesus speaks about laying down His life for us, His sheep, it is not just about laying down His human life.  Jesus laid down everything He had, including His very divinity, in order to save us.  

Francis knew this.  He did not have divinity to lay down, but he still had the ability to imitate Jesus because he still could choose to lay down everything he had.  He chose Lady Poverty as his spouse and lived the ideal of Poverty so very strictly because that was how he interpreted what it meant to give all in imitation of Christ.

That is what constituted “laying down his life” for Francis. 

We are the sheep of Jesus, but we are also the sheep of Francis.  Francis also laid down his life so that we could be saved.  He set his own example so that we might follow it as we strive for the salvation that Jesus earned for us by laying down both His divinity and His life.

The greatest example that Francis set, the most sure thing we can do as sheep listening to his voice, is to follow him in his attempt to emulate and imitate Jesus. 

The rule does not say, “follow the poor Francis.”

It says, “follow the poor and crucified Christ.”

The reason it says that is because that is what Francis strove to do with his entire life.